What dolphins teach us about love...

One recent evening, after seeing OneRepublic in concert, I had an interesting conversation with my girl friends. Somehow, we were on the topic of their experiences in swimming with dolphins.

I can't personally relate to this, as I've never done it. Nonetheless, some eyebrow-raising judgments arose from these stories. Well, their eyebrows rose - it made perfect sense to me.

Leslie swam with dolphins in the Keys. She said they were incredibly friendly and loving. The entire experience was just as she expected - as I think we all expect. You know, riding around on the back of a dolphin with our arms spread wide, our thighs held tight and a super-fake-movie smile plastered on our faces.

That type of happy.

Melissa, on the other hand, had a rougher experience in swimming with Dolphins in Tanzania. While on a business trip (I think), she decided that she wanted to experience the love of dolphins as well.

But... instead the dolphins were rough. I remember her saying something along the lines of, "I expected to be grabbing on to their fins and being whisked around while they swam. But it was more like trying to grab onto them as they swam by at lightning fast speeds. They weren't easy to catch and they weren't as friendly as they are typically portrayed."

My immediate comments were regarding romanticized love. I think this stemmed from the fact that we have had several conversations about my cynicism since Leslie moved in, specifically surrounding chick flicks. I, as a general rule, detest chick flicks because they set up such unreal expectations for women in regard to love.

Life doesn't end happily ever after. (I mean seriously, even in Enchanted - in which Disney makes fun of itself and its illogical ideas - the FREAKING MOVIE ENDS HAPPILY EVER AFTER!)

And you can argue, if you like, that it's just a story or just a movie: But I swear to you, these ideas get embedded in our minds as women. And when 'real' men don't add up, it certainly causes some type of tension.

Just a closing thought about chick flicks: I think they depress me because they give me this idea that my life sucks because it isn't like that pretty girl's life in the movie. Maybe I should know better - that this is mere fiction - but it doesn't sit that way with my soul.

So, back to the dolphins. 

I found it entertaining (and lucky for me, quite fitting for my cynicism) that the American dolphins were the fun, friendly, lovey-dovey dolphins, while the African dolphins were not. My exact words were, "American dolphins represent chick flicks and American ideas of love. The African dolphins - now that's the real world." 

Consider the parallel. You walk away from your American experience feeling in love and great about yourself. The animals are so lovely and loving and sweet and probably even gave you a kiss on the way out. Just as their way of saying, goodnight. Oh, and thanks for coming.

Melissa, in her African experience, was reminded that things are not always as they seem. In real life, people are too busy for each other (a sad truth). They rush by each other, forgetting to invest daily in their relationship. In real life, people are portrayed as one thing, but often end up being something else. To be honest, that's true for love, too. America has built up this idea of what love should look like, but to be certain - it's only infatuation. We have a severe problem with this infatuation. When things eventually settle down into the opportunity for true, unselfish love - people run. That type of love is just scary. And hard. And selfless. 

Most people don't want to invest. 

Thus, my synopsis is this: if you want a glimpse of the real world and feisty dolphins, go to Africa. If you like chick flicks and happy-go-lucky dolphins, stay in America.

(Disclaimer: if you don't know me well, I was laughing hysterically as this came to pass. I certainly, at least halfheartedly, meant part of what I was saying. But it was also in jest.)