Monday, August 18, 2008

CHASING your ghost, yet again...

Where did you go? I turned around for just a second and, now, you are just... GONE. My eyes are stretching to see as far as they can, which isn't far enough to locate you - your body. My soul is searching near and far and anywhere it's seen you before, but it's not far enough to locate you - your spirit.

My heart drops and my eyes water and I wonder at the meaning of our separation. Was it me? Did I push you away so far that you never found the right path to bring you back? Was it you? Did you run away because your fears overcame you and your nomadic tendencies are now in control? Was it fate? We were separated because the gods never intended for us to know each other past this dot on the timeline of life?

The questions continue to come and my heart knows no answers. In its age, it's garnered wisdom and strength, but in this moment, the two goddesses have fled the body, leaving me to deal with this only in my mind with my logic.  

I'm done. I want to be done with the idea of you. But even so, you creep into my mind every now and then, passing through my eyes and my ears into the deepest parts. The blackest parts with the hidden doors that are locked, sealed, and shut so that no one could possibly ever locate them. And now you've determined to squat there, dwelling inside places you were never intended to go.

One day, I swear that I will never think of you again.

About Me

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I live amongst the dragons and the warriors of the 21st century. I surround myself with both the peasants, the aristocrats; the knights and the maidens. For a long time (now quite in the past), I wove the structure of my life around the mold others saw for me. I've since learned to live for God and myself. Freedom comes and goes as I remember this lesson of mine. But my life is MY life: a series of events and remembering such. And this, this beautiful montage, is why I wake up every morning. God willing.