Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I used to know you. You were such a different person then. You've always been a cynic, but now it seems as if you've become their leader, instilling doubt and condescension in your ranking officers. These (mindless) leaders salute your persuasive speeches and carry them down to their armies, through patronizing yells and commands.

I've changed, too. I've lost my ability to care anymore and I've floundered in my attempts to think emotionally. I'm trying to seek forgiveness - it's something that actively hides from me. Every 3rd day or so I find it and relish it; but it's fleeting. That's okay, because at least I know to seek it.

This week threatens to be explosive. Let's hope that the 'yes' is a fraudulent one; that I can escape this state for now without an intersection of our paths.

To look into your apathetic eyes would only serve to fuel bitterness, and I've grown incredibly weary of being her landlord.

About Me

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I live amongst the dragons and the warriors of the 21st century. I surround myself with both the peasants, the aristocrats; the knights and the maidens. For a long time (now quite in the past), I wove the structure of my life around the mold others saw for me. I've since learned to live for God and myself. Freedom comes and goes as I remember this lesson of mine. But my life is MY life: a series of events and remembering such. And this, this beautiful montage, is why I wake up every morning. God willing.