Thursday, September 18, 2008

Golden Words

You, there, with your golden words.
Jail them.
Incarceration is required for the crimes committed. 

They are no longer any use to me whatsoever! I cannot stand for even a moment longer to hear them dribble out of your mouth as casually as a sunny summer day. 

They have the substance of a glass bubble - fragile.
They have the falseness of playboy - actions mismatched.
They have the oiliness of a greaser - slick as can be.

wrapped around my mind
you've trapped me here and I hate you for it.
and now you cannot hear my own?

I'll bury your gold,
So deep that they'll search for it as the treasures of old.
But I won't leave them a map.
They will be hidden in the darkest part of the earth,
Where none will ever traverse.

And to my neighbors and friends: don't search for these nuggets.
They've not the value you think;
Turning to dust in your hand,
Blowing away in the wind.
Physically gone, but retained eternally in your memory.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

"In the mourning I can see the light"

"I never thought you'd leave."

These surprising words were uttered in the depth of the night, long after the chaos of the bars had quieted. 

It was said bluntly in a moment of drunkenness - though I must allow that the intoxication may have been from the truthfulness and honesty of our conversation. Something with which you seem unfamiliar, and which can certainly bring an attachment of sorts. Confessions and laughter and tears and silence combined into a menagerie of acceptance.

We dove farther and farther into this beautiful and freeing conversation - areas we had not ever traversed before - bringing an intimacy that was peaceful and heady. The hours, as usual, passed far too quickly, but I immersed my soul in you for those few minutes I was allowed.

And as the sun rose again, the world seemed entirely different, even though it looked just as we left it the night before.
Pulling myself out of the waters of confusion, mourning and grieving over the dead body washed ashore,
I came to the frank realization that everything had changed.
But the world LOOKED the same. 

Obviously, it was only my heart that changed.
My heart and my mind - they were charmed for a night by ideas wrapped around potential...
But they were brought back screaming and kicking to the harsh sunlight of early morning.
They weren't accepting of the old surroundings any longer.

Once again, I paste on my plastic smile of normalcy and the garish makeup of faux peace, and wander back into the streets, where I surely will encounter you again, and soon.

And you will try to pretend we haven't changed,
But I will look deep into your eyes and see the difference in your soul.
It's the only bit of hope I have left.

About Me

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I live amongst the dragons and the warriors of the 21st century. I surround myself with both the peasants, the aristocrats; the knights and the maidens. For a long time (now quite in the past), I wove the structure of my life around the mold others saw for me. I've since learned to live for God and myself. Freedom comes and goes as I remember this lesson of mine. But my life is MY life: a series of events and remembering such. And this, this beautiful montage, is why I wake up every morning. God willing.